Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my last day at the assisted living.  I move on to a retirement/independent community.  The resident I would like to remember today is "Leala." (Names changed to protect privacy)  She is 101! She is a little white haired lady, a spit fire.  She is so sweet when she is normal, but aggressive, bullying, anxious when she is wound up.  The most recent saturday she showed up in the hallway before breakfast naked as a jaybird, screaming that she wanted to go home.  She always begs for someone to help her. To call her daughter.  To take her home.  "Where are you going?" "Are you going by my house?" "Can you take me home?" She wants to go see her mommy.  She thinks that she wets her pants, but when she changes herself, it seems she is dry. ??  She thinks she does not live here and that somewhere her parents are supposed to come and get her.  She recognizes her room, but does not want to be there. She runs her fingers thru her hair until it stands on end.  When I come to work I can tell just by looking at her what kind of day she is having.  The other day, she hit our new executive director with her walker.  She worries about the car that ran out of gas, that they took down to Enterprise and need to go get it.  She is soo anxiety ridden, worrisome, that she makes herself crazy.  I try to be understanding and hold her hand and keep her company.  She cries.  Nothing pleases her anymore.  When I first started working there, she would come to exercise, have coffee, laugh at horoscopes, play bingo, do beanbag baseball.  She was pretty active.  In the last three months, she has gone thru such a decline.  It's almost hard to fathom.  At her birthday, when we sang happy birthday, she reminded us that we needs to add "and many more" at the end.  What a thought, that at 101 she wanted to have many more birthdays.  I wouldn't if I was in her shoes.  She makes me cry when I leave the building, she is soo miserable.  There is nothing we can do for her.  I will miss her.